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Friday 7 September 2018

Girls Narrative Writing

Learn: I have been learning how to pre-assess my writing.


Once upon a time there was a group of children, they were exploring what happened inside the haunted house. It was night time, twelve in the morning they all grabbed their torches to look where they were going. But then, Aaliyah heard something coming behind her she turned back and then she tells everyone that she is going to see what is making the noise.

Aaliyah went into the dark by herself, she found where the noise was coming from and she said, “Is anyone here?” The noise kept on going and then she saw a shadow, she gasped and ran back to where her group was. Aaliyah got back safe, Annalisa asked, “Should we play a game?” Trina , Ailini , Claudia , Setaita and Joseph said “Yes”, but Aaliyah said “No.”

Aaliyah was too terrified of playing games in the dark, so Aaliyah didn’t play the game with them, because she thinks that something will happen during the game. So Trina said “Should we play the Ouija Board.” And everyone said “Yes.”
So Setaita grabbed the Ouija board out of her bag and placed it on a dirty floor.

They all placed their fingers on the eye patch and they asked the spirit questions, they said “What is your name.” And it spelled. “C H A R L I E.” “What do you want from us.” And Charlie said. “I WANT JOSEPH.” And then they ask “But why do you want Joseph.” Annalisa replied. Charlie said “BECAUSE , I SAID SO!” Charlie replied. Joseph started screaming as loud as he could and ran into a dark room, everyone followed him and they saw Joseph looking right at them , everyone said “Why are you looking at us like that with your big eyes?.”
Joseph said “ I am going to kill Aaliyah .“

He grabs Aaliyah and throws her to the big wall , the big whiteboard falls on her , then Joseph saw a big wood on the floor and whacked it on Aaliyah's head and Aaliyah died. Everyone looked at Aaliyah and they saw the blood coming down from her head. They all ran and found a safe place to hide from Joseph, Joseph was feeling a bit dizzy , he fell on the ground and he died. The other 5 ran outside and they checked the time , it was 3am in the morning.

“3AM IN THE MORNING.” They yelled, Claudia and Setaita started to get scared and they told everyone “Should we just go back home because, it is starting to get more scarer.” So Annalisa said “Should we play I dare you.” Some people said yes and some said no. They grabbed a bottle and they stood in a circle, they spinned the bottle around and it landed on Claudia. So Annalisa asked Claudia “Truth or Dare.” “Dare.” Claudia replied. Annalisa said “I dare you to say Bloody Mary are you here 3x”

Claudia said it 3x and nothing happened, but then Claudia felt something on her shoulder and she saw blood on her shoulder and Claudia ask them “Did you guys put fake blood on my shoulder to scare me?” They said “NO” Claudia got scared and she told them that she is going home by herself because she didn’t want anything else happening. When Claudia was walking home she had a feeling that someone was following her she looked to the back and saw… JOSEPH.
She was confused and frightened.

Joseph was following her back home so Claudia ran home she took the left turn and she saw Joseph right in front of her and Joseph smiled. He grabbed her head and squeezed until her head popped. Claudia is no longer a alive. Back to the 4 people who were still alive, they didn’t want to play I dare you. They got tired and went back home they saw a taxis and they told him to stop, so he stopped and let them in. The taxis driver kept on looking at them, Specially Setaita because he thought that Setaita did something wrong but she didn’t

So the taxi driver dropped them off back home and then the taxi driver grabbed Setaita and drove off with her. Setaita punch the taxi driver and they crushed into a tree, Setaita got off and ran back to Trina’s house and locked the doors. After all the deaths and games that they did they promise each other that they wouldn’t go back to the haunted house again.

R.I.P
Aaliyah
Joseph
Claudia
Survived
Trina
Annalisa
Ailini

Setaita


1 comment:

  1. Hi Helena,

    I thought your story was very creative and interesting, I also liked the plot twist at the end. I think you should work a bit more at the end since it sounds like it was kind of rushed. Also, what happened to Joseph? Is he still alive, or dead? It doesn't say in the story. Other than that, I think your writing was great!

    Good Job!
    Aaliyah

    ReplyDelete

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